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Weird Sh*t I Ate: A Can of Olives for Breakfast

 

Weird Sh*t I Ate: A Can of Olives for Breakfast...



Last night’s dinner was a full-on spice riot: turmeric yellow rice with chili dal. It had everything—brown and red lentils, onion, chili peppers, garlic, smoked paprika, turmeric, kale, adobo, and about three lifetimes’ worth of red chili flakes and cayenne. 

Breakfast the next morning was rather random. 

  • One entire can of black olives

  • A couple stray walnut pieces (not enough to matter)

  • One sad strip of beef jerky

  • Chug of kefir. 

High fat, high sodium, almost no carbs or real protein. Basically, if you condensed the Mediterranean diet into its most questionable form and then sprinkled in gas-station jerky.

To feel somewhat okay with this, I chugged about a cup of plain kefir. It's not delicious like this, but I'm getting used to it. I'm thinking I'll round out the sodium spike with probiotics, calcium, and nine grams of actual protein. Let's call this a Mediterranean-deli-meets-dairy-farm fusion breakfast.

Takeaway: it wasn’t a total disaster. The kefir pulled it together, like an understudy who rescues a failing play at the last second. If I had tossed in a piece of fruit, it would’ve been downright respectable.

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